Saying Goodbye.

Today has been a trying day, complete with a whirlwind of emotions.

I have spent the better part of today reliving my past, then throwing it away.

Movie stubs, hand written cards, love letters, tickets and programs, school papers and assignments, drawings and posters, certificates of achievement. Memoirs accumulated over a lifetime...all in the trash.

I know that it is necessary. I know that I don't need these things, and that throwing them away does not erase the memories and experiences. But my god does it hurt. I am severing ties with my past, parting with memories of my would have been life, saying goodbye forever. I am letting go; something that I have never ever been able to do. It is hard, and it hurts like hell.

I know it will be worth it. It frees me. It gives me the ability to move on and begin a new journey without the weight of the past to hold me down. I know that once the aching in my soul subsides I will have space in my heart for bigger and better things, but that does not make the goodbye easier.

To all of you who have been a part of my life thus far, to everyone who has made memories with me, no matter how far away or forgotten they seem, I just want to say that I will never forget you. You are the reason I am who I am and the stepping stones that have gotten me to this point. Things will change, we will grow. We may no longer speak, or see each other, or be as close as we once were. But I love and appreciate you just the same, and I will never forget you or the impact you have had on my life. I hope that you will remember me too.